I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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