oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
