Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Blood and glitter go together right?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
