Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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