Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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