We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
