I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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