This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
