i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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