I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
