I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
