Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
