One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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