At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
