what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
