I just made out with a guy for $7.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
