GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
