I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
