Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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