Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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