She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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