I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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