dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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