What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
