evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
