ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
