I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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