Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
