If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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