finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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