at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Help. Why am I so naked?
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