We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You pole danced in your parka.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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