on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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