and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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