Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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