my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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