this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
