Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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