The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
