he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
