sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
