I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
