No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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