One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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