lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
