Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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