You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
