woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
