scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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