we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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