Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
