Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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