he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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