playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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